Hey everybody!
I’ve started a new podcast…check it out! The Brainfog Podcast is hosted by me and a friend from my radio station. This weekly podcast will deal with fun stuff going on in our lives, living in Los Angeles, movie reviews, today’s music, and every once in a while…I’ll bring in an entertaining guest.
I’ll post an update when it finaly goes live to iTunes…but for now, listen/download through the website – and please leave comments!
Thanks!
~Keith
I don’t usually write sports commentary on this blog, but since this is my blog and I’m a huge NFL fan…read it anyway.
This is dedicated to the veterans in the NFL that have been playing at a high level for many years, but haven’t gotten that Superbowl ring (yet). Some of these aren’t my favorite players…some even playing on hated teams. You still have to show respect for the punishment they have endured mentally and physically without payoff. A couple of these guys have even gotten to the dance…only to go home without a parade. Not having a Superbowl ring could even keep a couple of these guys out of the Hall of Fame when their time comes…
10. Donovan McNabb/Matt Hasselbeck – Both of these guys have come away from the Superbowl empty-handed. McNabb is the Eagles’ all-time leader in career wins, pass attempts, pass completions, passing yards, and passing touchdowns. But his career has gone off the deep end with him losing his starting job in both Washington and now Minnesota – Maybe he can get a “Mark Brunell Ring” as a backup. Hasselbeck owns pretty much every Seattle passing record, he wanted to finish his career as a Seahawk…but now is keeping the Titans afloat. Unless something crazy happens, I don’t see him getting back to the big game.
9. Casey Wiegmann - Linemen never get much credit, and this center has been an ironman for 16 seasons. Not bad for being undrafted out of Iowa. He was selected to the probowl while playing for the Denver Broncos, but now that he’s back playing for the Kansas City Chiefs – I don’t hope he gets his chance at a ring. Just saying.
8. Chad OchoCinco - The receiver formally known as Johnson, a Bengal, a probowler, etc… He’s a hall-of-fame social networking player and one of the most entertaining people to take the field (seriously, watch one of his “Sound FX” segments). He’s got all the important receiving records for the Bengals. He’s the last of the “Big Three Headache Receivers” still playing, Randy Moss retired without a championship and Terrell Owens is unemployed without a ring. Though he’s not playing at a high level, its possible Ocho Cinco could get his ring while hanging on to his position with the New England Patriots.
7. Jason Taylor – The 2006 NFL Defensive player of the year has been desperate to get a ring. He’s played his heart out with Miami, who couldn’t even win one with Marino in the 80′s. He took a paycheck to switch to the Redskins, then brought his talents back to south beach, then came so close with the Jets (reaching the AFC Championship), and now he’s back with a struggling Miami team. Poor Guy.
6. Takeo Spikes – This guy belongs in the hall of fame when guys like Ray Lewis and James Harrison get called. It’s not his fault he was stuck with the Bengals, but he still was the heart and soul of that defense. He finally got to the probowl when he went to an equally bad Buffalo Bills team. He tried to go to a “winner” with the Eagles, but couldn’t help them after a late-season injury. He then lined up with a great defense although disappointing team in the 49ers. And now, after 14 seasons, he’s trying to lead the San Diego Chargers defense. (That whole organization should be on this list – the city of San Diego has gone the longest without a professional championship)
5. Brian Dawkins – He’s a member of the “All-2000′s Team” and an 8 time probowler. He was with McNabb in Philadelphia when they went to 4 consecutive NFC championship games, advancing only once to lose in the Superbowl. He made it to one more NFC championship game before joining the Denver Broncos. When he’s not injured, he still plays at a high level after 16 seasons.
4. Champ Bailey – The other aging veteran in the Broncos secondary. After 13 seasons, Champ is still one of the top 5 cornerbacks in the league. He’s gone to 10 Probowls (a record) first with the Washington Redskins, then he and Clinton Portis (another great player without a ring) switched teams. While he and Dawkins should make the hall, I don’t see them getting rings without some serious Tim Tebow magic…
3. Jason Hanson – Now, there are quite a few good kickers that have been in the league for a long time without a championship. But Jason has to get the most sympathy. He’s spent all 20 of this seasons with the Detroit Lions. The very same Lions that went 0-16. The same Lions that fell short in the playoffs in the 90′s. He’s also pretty good, obviously being the Lions all-time scoring leader, and a 4 time probowler. Hopefully he sticks around long enough with this emerging Detroit team.
2. Ladanian Tomlinson – 6 time all-pro, 2 time league rushing leader, numerous records, and a league MVP on his belt. While he’s
always been on competitive teams, he’s only ever gotten to the AFC Championship with the Jets. During his peak years with the San Diego Chargers, he was easily the best runningback in the league. He’s also just a good guy with very little controversy and lots of community service work – in 2006, he shared the Walter Peyton “Man of the Year” award with former teammate Drew Brees. The Jets are still a solid team, so he does have a chance to finish up his career on top.
1. Tony Gonzalez – At this time he holds 10 NFL records and 5 Kansas City Chief’s records. As an 11-time probowler, he’s thought of as possibly the best tight end to ever play the game. But while guys like Shannon Sharpe, Todd Christensen, and Mike Ditka have their rings, I’m guessing Tony doesn’t want to share the same sentence with Kellen Winslow when they talk about great tight ends without superbowl wins. When the Chiefs were heading south, no one blamed him for jumping to the Atlanta Falcons to try to get that elusive trophy. If you’re going to be the best ever tight end…then you’re going to need a big shiny ring. He’s still playing at a very high level on a quality team, but time is catching up.
**Honorable Mentions**
-Steven Jackson – Too young to make the list, but really…runningbacks don’t have a very long shelf life, and he’s been stuck on a terrible Rams team for 8 years. (And he thought he got drafted to the greatest-show-on-turf)
-Brian Urlacher/Julius Peppers/Lance Briggs — All 3 guys have been to the Superbowl, but all walked away empty handed…these 3 are too talented for that.
-Michael Vick – He was supposed to change the game. If nothing else, he’s been interesting.
-Aaron Kampman – He’s been a great pass rusher, he left the Green Bay Packers one season too soon.
-Ricky Williams – the greatest “What if” of the last decade. He should have as many rings as the number of head coaches that were fired because of him.
For every uplifting movie that inspires you to get out of the house, start working out, figure out decoding, eat better, and do math problems that equal 23…there’s those movies that un-inspire. The ones that drain you, or just make your laziness kick into high gear – I wouldn’t suggest watching these if you need to get shit done.
10. 300 – This isn’t about the idea of battle against an enemy, overcoming odds, or defending your home. This is about getting those abs. You watch it the first time and think, “Damn, I need to workout more.” Then you realize your stomach will never look like that. Even worse when you find out that theirs didn’t either…
9. Pirates of the Caribbean – This goes for pretty much any franchise (Star Wars would fit here too) that cable stations love to play back-to-back-to-back. You sit down, flip on the tv for just something in the background while you work on curing cancer…and 6 and a half hours later, you’re making popcorn during the commercial break of the 3rd installment. Just ask Michael Bolton, its hard to think of anything else.
8. Meet Joe Black – Not that there’s anything wrong with this movie…its just so damn long! Try watching this, or something like Avatar, and your afternoon is gone.
7. Pineapple Express – Insert basically any “stoner comedy” here. There’s things about weed that can help you write, play music, and be creative. But, there’s also that side of weed that makes you sit on the couch doing absolutely nothing productive.
6. Big – Forget that Wilma Flintstone has sex with a minor, technically. How many of us watched this as a kid and wanted the job where you play with toys all day? The job you’re doing doesn’t look so fun to do right now does it?
5. The Road – For as happy and fun as the last two categories were…this one is all about depression. Children of Men would have the same effect. You see a world that is so damn bleak – then sit back and look at what you need to do like what’s the point?
4. The Big Lebowski – This one is really centered on the character “the Dude”. Just wanting to be that cool as shit guy that sits around in his robe, and the most you get done in the day is a good afternoon at the bowling alley.
3. The Matrix – This fits under multiple categories. It has the sequels that FX and TBS will keep playing all weekend on repeat. But, then it also gets in your head. If you’re looking for any excuse not to do that TPS report…you’ll start believing this isn’t the ‘real world’. Where is my red pill?
2. Office Space – If you’ve ever worked (or are working) a dead-end job, watch this movie. It so perfectly illustrates the problems with working in a corporate world. All the characters who actually do their work and really try at their jobs get screwed over, the guy that decides to play Tetris gets a promotion. And, the guy that commits arson gets a vacation. Fuckin’ A.
1. Fight Club – All those problems with #2…this is the movie that attacks them. All I have to do is quote this movie and the things around you will look a lot less important…
“This is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time.”
“Listen to me! You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you, never wanted you, and in all probability, he HATES you. It’s not the worst thing that can happen.”
“We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact.”
For those that don’t know, I have worked in radio for about 8 years now. I like to think that I keep up with the latest music. I love anything with a distortion guitar. I used to be pretty closed-minded to where that’s all I would listen to, but opened up to appreciate rap, pop, techno, acoustic, and such (except country, my grandma listens to country, fuck country) ((Garth Brooks and Johnny Cash are ok))
Anyway…back to my point. I’m trying to keep up with the latest music and what’s coming out, and I notice more and more that I’m adding less and less new rock music to my library. With rap, I’m good, I’ve got tons of new stuff, Bad Meets Evil, Tyler the Creator, Kreayshawn, Nicki Minaj, etc… The radio station I work for keeps me updated with plenty of pop and top 40 with stuff like Katy Perry and One Republic. But, there’s no good rock music. I mean REAL rock music.
I scanned the Billboard charts. There’s a bunch of stuff from bands I grew up with. Foo Fighters (a band from the 90′s!) has 2 of the top 10 songs. Seether, Rise Against, Avenged Sevenfold, Incubus – all good bands, but none of them are new. Where are the rock bands of this decade? We’re a year and a half into the 10′s and there are 2 bands on this chart that fit the bill of rock band – Adelitas Way and Art of Dying. Cage the Elephant has a few good rock songs also, but they came up at the end of the 00′s.
Now if you go look at the charts yourself, you may question me and say there are another 5-6 bands of this decade. Those aren’t rock bands. Sorry, this isn’t to say they aren’t good, just not a rock band. The Naked and Famous, Mumford and Sons, Foster the People – besides having 3-worded names – those are all just chill bands. They don’t pump your adrenaline, no one is using these for their entrance music to a fight, and I’m not going to press down harder on the gas pedal.
So while I try not to be as resentful as Henry Rollins, I still just want something badass to listen to once in a while.
Seriously, how awesome was the year 1999? Its just been something that I keep thinking about lately when I look around at how our world is now, and what is happening in pop culture. Starting out with the amazing movies that came out; Fight Club, American Beauty, the Green Mile, Eyes Wide Shut, Office Space, Boondock Saints. The Matrix blew everyone’s minds away, where now it only gets remembered for its sequels, M. Night was the next big thing with the 6th Sense. Although, George Lucas was about to prove that he was full of shit and ruin most everyone’s childhoods in April of that year.
For those that hadn’t started driving to the theaters yet, we still had awesome TV shows with debuts from the Sopranos, Family Guy, and the West Wing. We still got to watch Michael J. Fox for one more year on Spin City. We did have to say goodbye to shows like NewsRadio, Home Improvement, and Doug.
Even the music industry brought the awesome that year. We were finally able to use the artist-formally-known-as-Prince song to its exact specifications. Napster launched, which completely changed the way we get our music. Britney Spears was hot as hell and still possibly a virgin. White people were allowed to listen to rap music when Eminem got unleashed on the world. We didn’t care when Dr. Dre’s “Detox” would finally drop, because we had “2001” to listen to. John Frusciante rejoined the Chilli Peppers to release Californication (arguably the best RHCP album). Travis Barker had joined Blink 182. Slipknot released their debut album. *its cool because I lived in Iowa*
Phillip J. Fry was still delivering pizzas while the Clinton administration had the country at tip top economic status despite impeachment and blowjobs. The US dollar was still pretty badass compared to this new “Euro” scam. Sarah Palin was only relevant to Alaskans. Dubya was hanging out in Texas.
Jesse Ventura was an actor-in-Predator-turned-governor that DIDN’T fuck the help. And, if you were into pro-wrestling…it was a hell of a year for that too. We didn’t call the Rock – Dwayne Johnson. WCW still existed. Stone Cold Steve Austin was the baddest man on the planet. Owen Hart, Chris Benoit, Big Boss Man, Test, Kanyon, Eddie Guerrero, and Randy Savage were all still in the ring.
I’m a Denver Broncos fan, so I had the awesome experience of seeing John Elway finish his career with a 2nd Superbowl win. The city of Cleveland got its NFL team back – they are still waiting to celebrate. Not much has changed in the NBA…they had a lockout then too. It would be the last time we’d see Gretzky on ice. Baseball was slightly more exciting because of the home run race between Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa. I’m sure something happened in tennis, soccer and golf that year, I mean, I know Tiger was still good and all.
Best of all…we didn’t have to deal with “emo”, skinny jeans, crocs, and auto-tune.
This is a list of songs that for whatever reason, always seem to get people happy. It’s almost guaranteed that when any one of these comes on the radio/ipod/jukebox…instant smile/head-nod/laugh or if you’re a group of drunk girls – scream.
Shown: Happiness
10. Len – Steal my Sunshine : I don’t think you can have a song with the word “sunshine” without it being at least somewhat happy. This song also contains the infectious beat and the sweet female verse…without being as annoying as Barbie Girl. Add the fact that this is a one hit wonder – you have the Oh-I-know-this-song feeling.
9. White Stripes – We Are Gonna Be Friends : Ok, let the record state – I dislike Napolean Dynamite. But, it does contain this super-happy-fun-song in the soundtrack. It’s impossible to be sad after hearing this song…the melody is like stuffing a fluffy bunny in one ear and marshmallows in the other.
8. House of Pain – Jump Around : All you have to hear is that opening brass – Bah… Bah bah Baaaaaaahhhmmm… – and you want to hit the dance floor. Possibly the top white-rap of all time. The rhymes are fairly easy to spout (allowing any wannabe MC to think they are cool for 3 minutes and 30 seconds). Best part of all, you don’t even need dance moves – just… well… jump around.
7. Snoop Dogg – Gin And Juice : Similar to song above, in terms of energy…only cooler. Snoop has such a silky smooth delivery when he raps…its like he could tell you he will straight up murder you and you will strangely be ok with it. But it’s fine, because while Dr. Dre also adds his production and vocals, it’s the least threatening song from either of them. They just wanna kick back and have a good time – pocket full of rubbers optional.
6. Creedence Clearwater Revival – Down on the Corner : Awesome band, awesome song. Every line in this tune is about a whole town just unwinding and rockin’ out. While not only being classic, it also contains the #1 rule to making a great sing-a-long — repeat the chorus a shit-ton towards the end. Try not to get it stuck in your head.
5. Incubus – Drive : Perfect song for when you need a little inspiration. But the best thing about this song is that it fits to almost any situation – love, stress, work, life – and it doesn’t mention the bad things what so ever. It’s just all positive.
4. Outkast – Hey Ya : 1,2,3,4 ! Pretty much any of Outkast’s singles are infectious. This song, I think, is the most fun…containing simple choruses, quick verses, and one of the best “breakdowns” ever for the bridge.
3. Andrew WK – Party Hard : Very simple message contained here…party, then party some more, and when you’re done with that, party harder. While you bang your head to this one, do yourself a favor and look up “Andrew WK’s Party Tips” from his Twitter account…then enjoy the rest of your life.
2. Sublime – What I Got : This would be a perfect song for a one hit wonder…but it turns out that Sublime has a bunch of other awesome songs too. This song is kind of the opposite of Drive…in that it does talk about some crappy stuff. But, it just oozes optimism. Great song for cruising around with the windows down.
1. Journey – Don’t Stop Believing : Fuck this song, fuck its life…its so damn positive. And you can’t just listen to a little piece of it either… Scanning the radio? You know you’ll stop if you even think you hear this one. Sitting at a bar? First line starts and BOOM! you try to hit all the high notes. You know why Hands Across America failed? It’s because they wanted that thing to last 15 minutes…this song is only 4 minutes long!
*Happy Birthday Brittney*
In case you don’t know where to find the audio…
Holy Crap…is he eligible to collect unemployment? No way does anybody credible put him in a movie anytime soon. Listen until at least the 2:00 min mark to hear possibly the classiest line ever “Shut the F*ck up, you should just F*cking smile, and BLOW me!”
I was thinking recently about all the show-biz families. The Barrymore’s, which couldn’t be happier that Drew did NOT have a kid with Tom Green. The combos of Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson, or Kirk and Michael Douglas. Both Goldie and Kate are very pretty, you can believe that they have the same genes. But see, there’s some celebrities out there that you just stop and think, “They’re related?!”
This is my top 10 hot daughters — not so good looking fathers…
10: Eric Roberts & Emma Roberts
First off, I’ll admit that Eric was better looking as a young man. But, really…if you need an evil businessman or mob boss, Eric Roberts is your go-to guy. He’s the new Jack Palance. Emma on the other hand, takes more traits from her aunt. Soft features and seems like a sweet girl. I think she’s even prettier than Julia, because she thankfully doesn’t have those duck-lips.
9: Ernie Lively & Blake Lively
Ernie doesn’t have the big name that his daughter has already established, but he’s got a ton of work on his resume. Blake however is considered one of the hottest up-and-coming stars. She did a movie about pants that was pretty popular, I don’t have any more info on it than that…I’m a guy.
8: Bruce Paltrow & Gwyneth Paltrow
Bruce spends his time behind the camera; writing, directing and producing. Gwyneth is an A-list leading lady with her looks and acting chops. She got an academy award and was in both Iron Man movies along side Robert Downey Jr…I can’t decide which is a cooler accomplishment.
7. Quincy Jones & Rashida Jones
Quincy Jones is huge in the music industry, produced stuff for Michael Jackson. All great stuff, and you don’t have to look good doing it. His daughter is freaking hot. The big debate is not Team Jacob or Team Edward…its - Karen or Pam? I am most definitely Team Karen.
6. Hulk Hogan & Brooke Hogan
Hulk Hogan worked out his body and became one of the best at his profession. Brooke worked out her body and umm…got her dad to create a reality show to create a buzz for her pop career. Not much else…
5. Geoffrey Lewis & Juliette Lewis
Not that he’s particularly all that bad looking…but when you’ve done multiple projects with Rob Zombie - you should know you’re starting to be borderline creepy. His daughter pulls off serial killer and beauty all in one. See Kalifornia and Natural Born Killers for examples of crazy hot. Sorry Luke Wilson, but I would definitely be there for the gang bang.
4. Paul Sorvino & Mira Sorvino
When you’re an Italian-American actor from New York, do they give you any parts that aren’t based around the mafia? His daughter is gorgeous, but I’m afraid there’s probably already a hit put out on me for saying that. Mr. Sorvino, I’d also like to state that I respect your daughter’s personality and intelligence (Harvard, Magna Cum Laude).
3. Jon Voight & Angelina Jolie
This one should be pretty expected. I mean this is the one chick that you’d have a chance at convincing your girl to go 3-way with, then she would leave you so they could date exclusively. Her dad however gets regurgitated by a big ass snake, then has enough creepy/crazy left to wink at you before death.
2. Steven Tyler & Liv Tyler
This was my reason for writing this post. Steven Tyler is awesome, love his music. Aerosmith rules. But damn you are an ugly man. That’s the best picture I could find of him, I could see where a few groupies might find it acceptable to sleep with him – kinda. Liv is amazing, not only is she the prettiest rockstar offspring, but she fights orcs, meteors, and huge spikey beasts. Ok, so she did none of those things…but she looks good next to the people who did!
1. Ron Howard & Bryce Dallas Howard
Now look, Ron is a great director. He was a good child actor too…but he did not grow up to be a handsome man. His daughter however is hot with her natural red hair and is the only good thing about Spiderman 3, going blonde. Bryce took all of Ron’s best traits, none of which include the Howard family looks. Quick – think of Hollywood’s go-to ugly guy…
Clint Howard - you might recognize him as the cross-dresser in Little Nicky or the dragon in Willow.
*Honorable Mention* — Aaron Spelling & Tori Spelling
(Just kidding, they are both no fun to look at)
So we all did this when we were little, we had a handful of movies that we would watch on repeat. Probably annoyed the crap out of anyone else in the house. While I still have movies that I have watched multiple times, I no longer watch the same few every chance I get. I had forgotten about this little habit until I noticed my niece and nephew’s watching habits. Every chance he gets – Star Wars (all 6). Every chance she gets – Little Mermaid (and yes she has all the sequels for that too). Only these kids are whipping out DVD’s, with hardly any scratches – they never skip. They will never know burden of the worn VHS tape. The weird static in the corners, the slowing/speeding of tempo. These were definitely my most watched. AND of course – rewind when finished!
10: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – All three of them. The second movie was always my favorite, just seemed a little bit more fun. Also, “TMNT” is an abomination.
9: Terminator 2 – Sure, I was only 6 when this came out. I don’t care, I didn’t get limited to viewing when I was growing up – ratings meant nothing to me. I only knew awesome – this movie was awesome. Smart move, making Arnold the good guy this time.
8: The Muppet Christmas Carol – Before YouTube videos of Bohemian Rhapsody, the Muppets were still awesome. I still think it’s the best movie adaptation of the classic novel. This movie also has me convinced that Michael Caine has always been old.
7: Wayne’s World – Speaking of Bohemian Rhapsody, this movie is the reason that everyone knows that song. Not that it wasn’t an awesome song before, just some people don’t look around for better music than what’s on top 40. What happened to Tia Carrere?
6: Back to the Future II – I didn’t have the first one. But, I always like this one better as a kid. This one lived up to its title – we actually got to see the future. The first one just showed us the past…huge disapointment as a 6 year old. Where’s my hoverboard Element?
5: Jurassic Park – There was nothing scarier than watching the water in the plastic cup shake. This should be what any filmmaker has to watch before they consider adding CGI effects. Think – “hmmm…does this GI Joe mech-suit look as real as a T-Rex?” No? Then don’t do it!
4: The NeverEnding Story – The sequels don’t exist. This one is a little more awkward to watch now that I’m older than Sebastian, Atreyu, and the Empress. Gmork is scary as hell. Artax dying is still one of the saddest scenes ever filmed.
3: The Sandlot - The sequels don’t exist. Wendy Peffercorn is the hottest lifeguard ever, Bertram got really into the 60′s, and “you’re killing me Smalls”.
2: Labyrinth – At one time, I had 3 copies of this movie. This was my introduction to David Bowie. I don’t think I ever stopped having a crush on Jennifer Connelly.
1: Willow – I fricken love this movie! My track record with this one is burning through 2 VHS tapes (one actually broke the VCR too) Val Kilmer has never been cooler. Nelwyns > hobbits. I didn’t even know Warwick Davis’ real name until well into high school.
*Movies I didn’t have but would have gotten worn out: Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Princess Bride, Star Wars IV-VI, Young Frankenstein*
