Guitar Hero: Not-these-bands

Guitar Hero is awesome, that’s my first statement. Rock Band is better (because the cool guys that did Guitar Hero in the beginning made it). I haven’t even played Rock Band yet, and I like it better. But, Guitar Hero is going to survive because of their marketing scemes. The first one being…lets copy Rock Band by adding drums and stuff. The second one is – actually a good idea – dedicating games for one individual band. Their first one was just released, “Guitar Hero: Aerosmith”. There is rumor that “Guitar Hero: Metallica” and ‘Guitar Hero: Beatles” are in the works. This is a list of the worst possible “Guitar Hero” band games. Please don’t ever make them.

10: Guitar Hero: Ramones – Great band, bad game. Sure there’d be a couple cool songs…but you’d be done with the game in 30 mins, Their songs last like a minute.

9: Guitar Hero: Iron Butterfly – The only thing people would play this for would be the “endurance run” aka In-a-gadda-da-vida. As apposed to GH: Ramones, this game would last days…just playing the one song.

8: Guitar Hero: Guns-n-Roses – As you play through the levels, the game actually fires guitarists and you can’t use them ever again. While you do get a bunch of cool songs to start out with, it takes over 20 years to unlock the last bracket.

7: Guitar Hero: Creed – This game would be filled with great guitar parts to play, but we’d need a “mute vocals” mode.

6: Guitar Hero: Hawethorne Heights – 6 words – The suicide rate will increase dramatically.

5: Guitar Hero: Good Charlotte – Expert mode still only uses 3 buttons.

4: Guitar Hero: Kid Rock – The songs actually get crappier as you go through the brackets…and the guitar controller gets greasier and picks fights with papparazzi.

3: Guitar Hero: Kiss – The songs never get that complicated, you’ll play a ton of songs and you’ll have to go through that “remove make-up” bracket before you go through the endless “farewell tour” tiers. Oh, and Lars Ümlaüt doesn’t look very good without make up either.

2: Guitar Hero: Limp Bizkit – Same story as “GH: Creed” but you lose the cool guitar parts in the 2nd to last bracket …luckily they did create that “ducktape vocalist to bus” cheat. You do get cool costumes to put your guitar player into though.

1: Guitar Hero: Dragonforce – As if our generation’s carpal tunnel isn’t going to be bad enough. This is the last thing we need for our wrists and fingers. All the songs will basically sound the same, guitar solos like crazy and “woah-oh-ohoh” vocals. 18 total people will actually be able to play the game, and all of them will post their videos on YouTube and hate me for writing this 🙂 …the rest of us will just bash the buttons and hope for power-ups.

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One Response to “Guitar Hero: Not-these-bands”

  1. Anthony Says:

    haha Good Charlotte is my favourite band but I still found your joke really funny lmao.

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